Chapter Nineteen (Wind Up Friday)

The scene is at a dinner table and we see four adults sitting round eating a meal. Phil is there of course, as is Paula but now we also see the twins and we realise these are the offspring of our antiheroes as one of them says,

‘So, Dad, did you help with making the dinner tonight?’

‘Funnily enough no,’ Replied Phil ‘erm….which one are you again?’

‘I’m Simon’ answered Simon ‘and that’s Yvonne, you know the female one.’

‘Ah yes, I remember now. So, male one, how’s big school?’

‘Dad,my name is still Simon and it’s a university, as you well know, and it’s going fine thanks.’

‘What are you studying dear, I’ve forgotten?’ piped in Paula.

‘I’m not studying anything Mum as you well know, I’m the assistant chancellor.’

‘That’s nice love. Hopefully you’ll make the top spot one day. Would you like your father to wipe out the chancellor for you?’

‘And how would he do that?’

‘Well, let’s be honest, he probably wouldn’t have to try. Knowing your father soon after you introduce them some sort of horrible accident is likely to befall Mr chancellor.’

‘Mrs.’

‘Alright, Mrs then, but you know what I’m talking about.’

Everyone nods in unison; including Phil.

‘So Yvonne’ he eventually says ‘what are you up to these days?’

‘I’m still a lawyer Dad, have been for 25 years now.’

‘You’re a what??’ shrieked Paula and stood up and stormed out.

‘Do we really have to go through this every month?’ asked Simon ‘we could stop coming.’

‘Do you really have to threaten that every month’ asked Paula returning to her seat. ‘Think of your father dear. He doesn’t have long left.’

‘He what?’ exclaimed the twins together.

‘No, he’ll probably be in a home soon he’s that nuts and nobody lasts long in those places. You probably wouldn’t be able to visit anyway as you wouldn’t get past the guards.’

‘Oh for fu….’

‘Language dear.’

‘Sorry Mum.’

‘That’s okay, now mind that slippery spot where your drink is. My backside was sliding all over the place last night when your Dad was banging me on the table.’

‘MUM!! That’s disgusting!’

‘Not at all, it’s a perfectly natural thing, you should both try it one day.

‘Mum, we both have kids and besides, it’s hearing about your parents doing it that’s disgusting.’

‘Well how do you think you two got here? I remember the night perfectly. We were trying out some new positions….your Dad took me from behi…..’

‘STOP!!!!!!’

And that was that, mission accomplished.

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About the author

Fresh from failing to be an actor, a singer and retaining a full head of hair Glyn is now attempting to be a photographer and a novelist. He has taken more pictures today than he has written words of his novel in the last six months. Some of them he regards as okay..

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