Chapter Twenty (Later, calmer)

‘So what you been up to Dad?’

‘Your Dad has a new hobby.’

‘Oh God, what this time?’

‘Your Dad is already an accomplished photographer.’

‘Yeah right, accomplished giving up and you’ve sold the equipment on ebay you mean?’

‘You sell my stuff on ebay….?’

‘No Simon’ ignoring Phil ‘he’s taken some fantastic photos and he hasn’t had the camera long.’

‘You sell my stuff…’ tried Phil again.

‘Cameras plural?’

‘But my stuff…’

‘Yeah, two came the same day, one after the other, same camera, same delivery guy but he and the camera company have no recollection of the second camera. So your Dad kept both, didn’t you dear?’

‘You sell my stuff on ebay? I wondered where everything disappeared to.’

‘No you didn’t dear, you don’t even remember having it in the first place. Tell me one thing that’s disappeared…..’

‘Well, there was….erm….there were my blue socks.’

‘In the bin.’

‘But I loved those socks.’

‘They had holes in them.

‘Of course they did, how else would you get your feet in them?’

‘They were FULL of holes.’

‘How could they be FULL of holes? They wouldn’t exist then would they?’

Paula sighed ‘So….the cameras….’

‘What cameras?’

Paula sighed.

‘Only joking, apparently I’m a cad. I’ve always wanted to be a cad.’

From somewhere Biggles miaowed.

‘I said cad Biggles, not cat. Although now you mention it I wouldn’t mind being a cat. You get to sleep most of the day, get waited on hand and foot and don’t have to do anything to earn it. Wouldn’t want to end up like George Galloway being a cat though so I’d have to be cat-shaped. Hmmmm, so would your Mother then I suppose. But then who would wait on us? You two are going to have to move back home and take care of us. It was bound to happen one day anyway…or were you planning to shove us in a home and forget about us?

‘You bastards, I hate you, get out of my house. Your Mother and I need a nap but put us some treats out first.’

‘Dad….’ Yvonne attempted….

‘Dad? I’m a cat. How could I have produced something like you? Honestly you two aren’t normal. Which one are you anyway?’

‘So’ Paula interjected ‘are you going to show your two human children your photographs or are you going to sit talking crap all night?’

‘Talking crap of course. About crap anyway. Your Mum had a massive cronk earlier that looked the spitting image of you two when you were born….or so she said anyway….’


And so it went on….

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About the author

Fresh from failing to be an actor, a singer and retaining a full head of hair Glyn is now attempting to be a photographer and a novelist. He has taken more pictures today than he has written words of his novel in the last six months. Some of them he regards as okay..

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